Laura asks…
I'm a therapist and my favorite client possibly robbed my brother's girlfriend without direct proof?
I am a licensed therapist. My brother's girlfriend has a bit of a drinking problem and ended up extremely intoxicated one night and brought back a handful strangers to her house. She thought they had a fine time together until she realized the next day that they had robbed her blind... They had taken off with her ipod, cell phone, computer, digital camera, shoes, and prescription medication. That was just was she aware of. About a week later I met with one of my clients at a nearby park since he enjoyed having sessions out in the community. He was always early and I found him this time sitting on a bench listening to an ipod. He was taking pictures of his hand. I didn't think much of it until i noticed the t-shirt he was wearing. It was a high school team shirt from the town my brother's girlfriend was from. The population in that town was less than 8000 and halfway across the country. I complimented his t-shirt and asked him where he got it from. He thanked me and told me he bought it from the thrift store the day before. I couldn't remember what kind of ipod my brother's girlfriend said was missing. I asked my client what he was listening to and he was listening to country, which he never listens to. I had a feeling there was some sort of connection but my client is very sensitive. If I had told him about my brother's girlfriend being robbed, I would have risked him having a very dangerous episode. I didn't work today so my husband and I met with my brother and his girlfriend for an early lunch, and of course for her, drinks. I inquired more about the missing items and the camera and ipod met the description perfectly. She also began to complain about loosing her favorite t-shirt. So basically I am at a rock and a hard place. There is a connection between my client and my brother's girlfriend. I'm at my wit's end with my brother's girlfriend because all she seems to do is cause hell. This is destroying the relationship I have with my brother because he is head over heels for her. I know if I was able to recover her missing items he would be thrilled and it could possibly help mend our broken relationship. On the other hand, this is probably my favorite client. He is by far the most intelligent client I have and an absolute pleasure to work with. I have to set a timer on my phone because our sessions can easily run 2 or 3 hours when we are only sheduled for 50 minutes. He's constantly threatening to switch agencies but stays because he likes me. Of course that makes me feel great and he's my favorite client so I'd HATE to loose him. Although I've been a licensed therapist for 7 years, I've only been employed with my agency for 5 months. I love my job and I make enough money that I live comfortably. I do plan on approaching my superiors about the situation, however, I generally avoid doing this most of the time because I have in the past and they never seem to help. I have the same opinion of them as my favorite client does. go figure! They are rude and don't seem to care about any of the patients. I thought I'd give a shout out to yahoo answers to see if anyone has some sort of thoughts on the situation. Thanks for reading :)
Our pick of the answers:
First clues you are getting way off base and need somekind of refresher course or therapy of your own: 'favorite client', 'criminal activity' , connection to your brothers drunk, hell raising gf. 'dont like or trust your superiors' 'run over 2 to 3 hours' what is that? Inability or reluctance to confront denial It is obvious to everyone reading this that there is a connection and he is likely the thief. If he isn't , you don't trust him and you are not listening to that either. Have you considered you are being sucked in by a psychopathic personality? Lovefraud.com See if you can get him to admit to stealing those items, and if not where did he buy them. Etc. I think you should let him know the relationship is over, you have lost trust for him and you believe he is lying to you., or otherwise confront him, without giving out any information. If he continures to deny it, then you are both in denial about this relationship and you have lost your perspective in helping completely. I think you should terminate the relationship , and take a good long hard look at what you are doing, where you want to work, with what kind of people you want ot work and if you need some kind of therapy yourself. I agree with much, but not all of what others have said. I agree that therapists are too cold many times, there are a lot of them that have gotten into routines, and clients know when someone doesn't care. I have heard too many catch all popular phrases like 'oh, just attention seeking' and the like that are ridiculous. I have heard many , that make no real sense that become popular. I have seen therapists so distanced that the client wonders if they are even after anything besides a pay check, and it makes anyone wonder. I have seen abuses in every area, labeling abuses, or convienience labels that protect the therapist legally , but are in no way appropriate or helpful to clients. Ad nauseum. I also think there is a lot wrong with the mental health system and therapy the way it is taught. It has lost its humanity and little to do with healing. You can find a partner and start your own practice, but you better get to the bottom of your own counter transferance, et al ,and why you can't seem to confront him the way you need to. YA is anonyous, you are just being honest ,where as many therapists would not dare to be that honest, when they would do everyone a great favor and first get honest , then get the help they need. There is too much corruption , going through the motions, we win , you lose, and focus on income , and people are taking notice of this . Everyone should go back to finding ways to work themselves out of a job, like the original intent. I don't recognize much of what is called 'therapy' as therapy. I think just to criticize you and say someone can't beleive something is a waste of time and self righteousness. You are human. I think you should set your personal boundaries with your bro and his gf, and explain to him why you are doing this, also. Let him know your concerns and why you need to stay away from it. Best wishes
Sharon asks…
Is there anyone out there that knows what it's like to not be average?! I am 6ft 2 and female...?
AAAAAGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! I am so utterly fed up. All I wanted to do was find and buy a pair of black boots with a low kitten heel. My average height friends do this task with no difficulty. They'll pop down the high street – go to the bargain basement and bingo – first pair they try on - a pair of perfect leather boots for £20. "Oh you are so lucky being so tall" they say. Yeah right!!! I don't even bother looking at the high street shoes save the embarrassment of trying to stuff 2 feet the size of canoes into these miniature shoes. So I go online – arr yes – the wonderful world wide web. You can by a f****** star, adopt a f****** platypus, buy a Russian bride but can I get a pair of black f******* boots with a low kitten heel in my size – no sireeeeee!! Oh I can buy a pair of sexual fetish boots with a 10 inch heel thus making me 7ft in height. I am sure they'd go down well at work and be most comfortable traipsing around Tescos. Or I can go for a pair of flat boots that look like 2 oversized loaves of brown bread. You know – the granny ankle boot kind with zips. I am 36 not 96. I wanna be a bit stylish!! I am not asking for pink polka dotted size 10 ladies boots with built in foot warmers and a thermos flask compartment – although I did find a pair of those. It must have been 30 sodding websites I looked at. Combing through the pairs and pairs of freak shoes. Then the b****** site wouldn't let me go back to my search page, then the page could not be displayed, then I lost my place and visited the same bizarre websites again, then I looked away from the screen and could still see pixilated freak shoes in front of my eyes. But then… at last… Eureka!!!!!!! I found the perfect pair!!!! Black – check – low heel – check – leather – check – price - £350 – ay? £350!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh yes because all us tall women are absolutely loaded!!!! AGGHHHH!!!! And do you know what – for my height my feet are actually quite small!! In America all the shoe shops stock sizes for larger feet than mine. Why do the yanks get everything – I'll just pop over there for a pair of boots shall I? Yes, yes – there are many sites for larger size footwear – I found them all. But there's no in-between – you either get 10 inch heels (like a 6ft 2 woman is going to want to wear those about town) or flat as a pancake loafer styles that are about as sexy as herpes. Then to add insult to injury – I find a forum where I wanted to go for a moan but could not unless I entered my name, address, star sign, inside leg measurement, circumference of my left f****** nostril – and found this man saying "It must be tough being a tall woman" how understanding I thought. Then I read on – he said his girlfriend is 6ft but looks like a freak if she wears heels. What a ******! So here I am – on Microsoft word – talking to myself – no one to hear or care. My only consolation was a packet of ginger nuts – and they were low fat! No chocolate in the house. And yes – there are people far worse off – starving, without limbs, diseased and dying. Yes I would much rather be me with my long limbs and canoe feet but I am still a woman – with womanly needs – I love shopping, I love shoes, I wanna look feminine!!!!!!!!!! So if you are short and tell me what a hardship it is for you having to buy kiddies shoes (available in the high street, cheap and fashionable!) I may just give you a piece of my mind!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Don't even get me started on trousers, leg room, insecure short men and women, back ache, feeling un-feminine, low ceilings in olde worlde pubs, standing on buses, just wanting to blend in occasionally but sticking out like a 6ft 2 woman! Right – off to the shop for chocolate and the usual comments. It amazes me how observant these people are… if life is too short - why answer the question? Move on! I know it's not a disability - as I said!!! I am just fed up and moaning - do you ever do that are are your lives so uttelry perfect and your personailty so perfectly weel balanced!! Thanks Tina B for saying something nice :-) Girls are always nice than boys ay ;-) Thanks for the help and nice anwers. I'm just having a moan really. It's theraputic! It may all sound quite angry but it's just a joke really. I've coped with far worse in my life!! oh so i'm fussy about footwear - i just want a pair of black boots! U obviously don't have the problem!! Trust me I am not elaborating here - what would I achieve? I tried on high street shoes until I realise there is no point. 43 is a 9 and I do fit a 9 shoe. Evans boots are for larger ladies so have enough width for my foot and a small bison. I just wanted some boots that aren't... oh sod it i'm going out. Thanks for all the help :-) Love and peace xxx
Our pick of the answers:
Thank you, that is the funniest thing I've read on YA - not the situation just your take on it & wording - you should publish it. I'm afraid I'm boringly average in most respects but loved your question so did a little research - are any of these any good? Http://www.findthatshoe.com/size10 http://www.large-size-designer-shoes.co.uk http://www.lushshoes.co.uk http://www.tallgirls.co.uk http://www.large-shoes.co.uk Good luck with your search, thanks for cheering up a dull Friday x
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