Maria asks…
I'm a guy that likes to wear women's clothes. What's wrong with me?
I was watching a show on MSNBC about transgender people. The thing is, I'm not like that. I'm happy being a male, I prefer having a penis, I prefer having the strong male physique, I'm 100% straight, and I'm only attracted to women. But I'm in to fashion and the creativity involved, and I find that women have more options. My rationality is this -- women began wearing pants, but at one time women would be scorned for wearing pants, and it's acceptable for the most part for women to wear men's clothes in public today. So I see a double-standard. Especially since most women's clothes were originally invented & worn by men (makeup, earrings, tights, leggings, platform shoes, dresses, skirts, wigs, etc). Then I read that most cross-dressers are straight. So, I guess this isn't uncommon? My other rationality on wearing "women's" clothing, is that, what is deemed "women's clothing" is shaped by society and all its biases and prejudices -- not by some omnipotent all-knowing law of the universe. Why? Because at one time, men wore these frilly outfits with vibrant colors. Men at one time wore tights & leggings, and were considered masculine. What changed? The clothes themselves didn't change -- only society's perception as to what we deem "feminine" and "masculine". Hopefully, one day, as society progresses, we can be gender-neutral and anyone can wear whatever they want without fear of retribution of any form. James: To be honest, I do get a sexual thrill from wearing women's clothes. Particularily tight clothes. I actually tend to wear a lot of men's clothes that kinda replicate women's clothes (tight jeans, vibrant colors, long underwear that are similar to leggings/tights, etc.).
Our pick of the answers:
There's absolutely nothing wrong with you. I'll say to you the same thing that I said to another man who asked the same question a couple of days ago: the reason why people frown upon men wearing women's clothing, but not the other way around, has a lot to do with the connotation of that clothing. Men's clothing, in today's society (actually, in any historical society, regardless of the fashion), is looked upon as powerful, strong, and respected. That's why a woman would rather hold a meeting in a power suit than in a frilly sun dress. On the other hand, a frilly sun-dress is associated with childhood, with fragility, with decoration. It's uniquely feminine precisely because it's impractical, because it's regarded as "weak", and because it's primarily decorative rather than functional. Thus, when a woman needs to use the power that masculine clothes grant, or she just needs to do some physical work, she wears men's clothes. This is fine, because the idea of a woman being powerful or doing physical labor might be distasteful to some, but we basically regard it as "moving up" in society. It's considered good, regardless of your gender, to want to be more powerful, more respected, and stronger. Those are traits we value as a society. And it shows: we pay people more the more we think of them as powerful, respected, and strong. A big part of that perception has to do with the clothes they wear. On the other hand, feminine clothing, like I said, is regarded as weak or infantile. It's considered deviant for a man to wear it because it is taken as "moving down" in society. As a man wearing man's clothing, you are respected, rich, powerful, or strong. As a man wearing women's clothing, you are weak, a sissy, a pervert, or gay. That last one is extremely important. Homosexuality is about the most vile thing that a man can project in the common culture. The fact that men who choose to become women are so vilified (the chance that a transsexual man will be killed in part of a hate crime in her lifetime is thousands of times higher than the rest of the population) is because homosexuality and weakness, especially weakness when it is adopted by those who are not supposed to show it (i.e. Men), is considered so disgusting. A man wearing women's clothing is rejecting all the power and prestige that the masculine character traits grant him in favor of the feminine traits that are demonized and thought of as weak or perverted. On the contrary, a woman doing the same is regarded as powerful because not only is she donning a man's clothing, she is donning some of the traits associated with masculinity as well. And if we're really honest with ourselves here, the traditional masculine traits are much more valued in society than the traditional feminine traits.
Carol asks…
where to find a decent costume for work?
our office is celebrating halloween by dressing up. i was "chosen" to be the queen of hearts only i canNOT find a costume that doesn't look like a hooker. i can't wear cleavage revealing, fishnet stocking, platform shoes and mini skirt to work! seems like all the women's costumes look like something out of "fredericks of hollywood". where are the normal costumes? (i can't sew my own) any ideas?
Our pick of the answers:
What about something like this http://www.mardigrasoutlet.com/catalog/1033.html or similar to this one http://www.odgirl.com/item--Queen-of-Hearts-Costume--1037-INC.html
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