Lisa asks…
Why does the Bible have so much sex talk in it?
- If a man marries, then decides that he hates his wife, he can claim she wasn't a virgin when they were married. If her father can't produce the "tokens of her virginity" (bloody sheets), then the woman is to be stoned to death at her father's doorstep. Deuteronomy 22:13-21 -If a man dies without having a child, his brother shall "go in unto" his dead brother's wife. If he refuses, the dead man's wife is to loosen his shoe and spit in his face. Deuteronomy 25:5-10 -God warns if you disobey his law, he will curse you by having another man sleep with your fiancee. Deuteronomy 28:30 -Samson wants to have sex with his wife in the bedroom, but his father-in-law won't let him. Judges 15:1 -"Then went Samson to Gaza, and saw there an harlot, and went in unto her." Judges 16:1 -After taking in a traveling Levite, the host offers his virgin daughter and his guest's concubine to a mob of perverts (who want to have sex with his guest). The mob refuses the daughter, but accepts the concubine and they "abuse her all night." The next morning she crawls back to the doorstep and dies. The Levite puts her dead body on an ass and takes her home. Then he chops her body up into twelve pieces and sends them to each of the twelve tribes of Israel. Judges 19:22-30 -The sons of Eli had sex with women "at the door of the tabernacle." 1 Samuel 2:22 -David buys his wife Michal with 100 Philistine foreskins (and he was even nice to add in a bonus 100!) 2 Samuel 3:14 -King David decides to dance naked in public. His wife complained about this, so God punished her by making her unable to have children. 2 Samuel 6:14, 20-22 -David sees a beautiful woman taking a bath, so her orders her to come to him, commits adultery with her and gets her pregnant. 2 Samuel 11:2-5 -When David inherits Saul's throne, he also inherits his wives. I guess women are just another of men's property? 2 Samuel 12:7-8 -David kills a man in order to steal his wife. God is so upset, he punishes David by having his wives' publicly raped by David's own son. Now wouldn't THAT make a good Jerry Springer Show episode??? 2 Samuel 12:11-12, 16:22 -After Bathsheba's baby is killed by God, David comforts her by going "in unto her." She conceives and bears another son (Solomon). 2 Samuel 12:14 -Ammon (David's son) says to his half-sister Tamar, "Come lie with me, my sister." But she resists, so he rapes her and then sends her away. Tamar, knowing that she now belongs to him (since she was a virgin), expects him to marry her, but he refuses. 2 Samuel 13:1-22 -Absalom "went in unto his father's concubines in the sight of all Israel." This was according the God's plan. 2 Samuel 16:21-22 -To punish his ten concubines for being raped by his son, Absalom, David refuses to ever again have sex with them and forces them to "keep house" for the rest of their lives. 2 Samuel 20:3 -Old King David tries to get some heat by having a beautiful virgin minister unto him. 1 Kings 1:1-4 -Adonijah (Solomon's half-brother) sends Bathsheba (Solomon's mother) to ask King Solomon to let Adonijah have sex with his David's concubine Abishag. But Solomon had him murdered instead. 1 Kings 2:13-25 -"King Solomon loved many strange women." God didn't mind the number so much; it was the fact that they were foreigners ("strange") that he objected to. 1 Kings 11:1 -Solomon had 700 wives and 300 concubines. 1 Kings 11:3 -Jeroham "caused the inhabitants of Jerusalem to commit fornication." 2 Chronicles 21:11 -Solomon's advice to married man: "Let her breasts satisfy thee at all times; and be thou ravished always with her love." Proverbs 5:18 -Proverbs 7:18 describes the "immoral woman", who says, "Come let us take our fill of love until the morning." -One of the four "wonderful" things is the way of a man with a virgin. Proverbs 30:18-19 -"Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth: for thy love is better than wine." A fitting beginning for a pornographic poem. The Song of Solomon is either a song about Solomon's sexual escapades with a woman he apparently is not married to yet, or else a story about Jesus' love for his Church, and his deeply erotic interest in Christians. -"He [JESUS] shall lie all night betwixt my [the Church's] breasts." -Our heroine [the Church] takes her lover [Jesus] into her mother's bedroom and asks not to be disturbed "till he please." -"Thy [the Church's] two breasts are like two young roes that are twins." - says Jesus. -"Come [Solomon?] ... blow upon my garden, that the spices thereof may flow out. Let my beloved come into his garden, and eat his pleasant fruits." -"My belo
Our pick of the answers:
The bible was written by a bunch of horny men that couldn't get any pussy by any other means.
Lizzie asks…
Accessories for a wedding?
I'm going to a wedding in July. It will take place in a mansion. I'm wearing a black and white knee-length dress. What should I do for shoes, jewelry, etc? Shoes: black and white, or red, so they stand out? Wedges, or flats? Jewelry: again, black and white, or red? Should I wear necklaces, bracelets, rings, and everything else, or just one or two of those? (i.e. necklace and bracelet, earrings, and bracelets) Makeup: I'm 13 so should my makeup be subtle, or a bit more eye catching for my age? I'm guessing women would know what I'm talking about more then men, so other women who have been in this sitch, HELP!
Our pick of the answers:
Subtle make-up, and go with red, that sounds beautiful, go with what is comfortable with the shoes, there will be dancing... I would wear earrings and a bracelet in red also...
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