Nancy asks…
Is the beginning of my story good? Any feedback! It's kinda like PLL's so tell me if it is to alike! Thanks!?
It was a perfect day July morning, the sun shining, not too much or too bright, the wind, not a direct blow. But it wasn't a perfect day, not at all. Paisley's boyfriend dumped her; Kat saw a pair of adorable sparkly stilettos but not a pair in her size; Ada got her hair dyed platinum blonde… not her best look; my face was all peeling off; and suddenly Stella disappeared. "What was she like when she came over Ada?" Kat slid off her black flats at the arched door of Ada's house. "Like her same old bitchy self. She demanded me to steal a pack of my dad's cigarettes for her and I didn't want to, and then she just walked into the woods." "W.t.h? What did she think she was gonna find in the freakin' woods?" Paisley walked out to the backyard threw the custom kitchen. The granite countertops screamed clean at her. "She just walked away and went through the woods?" Kat asked. "Well yeah, she was just like 'Fine I'll go get my own.'" Ada peered down on her hot pink toes; she opened the sliding glass and plopped down on an orange wood chair. "Alright, kind of suspicious. I mean why would she even want a pack of cigarettes? They don't even taste good. And I bet she didn't even get a pack." "Oddy, for real you need to get more serious about this. What if something really happened to her?" Kat looked at me with her green eyes brighter than I've ever seen before. "You guys really think something happened to her?" I looked up at every one of them. Each of their eyes teary. "Guys, what if something really did happen to Stella?" Paisley pleaded. She looked down at the stained deck, not lifting her head up. "I'm sure nothing really happened to her." Ada tossed around her blonde bob. She tends to do it when she knows something isn't right. Just then Paisley's phone rang. "Hello?" Paisley's face turned a pale color. "No, none of us have heard from her since yesterday night… when she slept over at Ada's." Her eyes glared back at us, not happy. "Ok Mrs. Cruz we'll talk to you later. Alright bye." "What did she say?" Kat murmured this with a down tone in her voice, all of us were surprised she usually had a whiny high-pitched voice. "I think that something really did happen to Stell." Ada looked unsure of herself hoping nothing really did happen to Stella. "Can I get you ladies something to drink?" Ada's dad walked onto the patio, his slender eyes fell onto Paisley's cell, Paisley's eyes now watering. "Is this not a good time?" "No Mr. Lee it's a great time. It's a freakin' amazing time. Who the hell else in the world's boyfriend dumped them on the same freakin' day she found out her best friend is missing?" Paisley was always over dramatic about the little things. Well Stella's disappearance wasn't a little thing but Jackson breaking up with her was just another normal thing in her life. It happened pretty much every day; Jackson loves her now he doesn't. Chase's cute but Liam's cuter. Let's date that guy today! It didn't used to be this easy for Paisley. She was tormented for being Pudgy Paisley… but it wasn't like we called her that. It was only one time I mean we used to be bitches; well we still are a little. "So what can I get you?"Mr. Lee smiled with thin lips spread across his face. "Daddy? We aren't in the mood right now." Ada looked at him with a frown. "But honey" He quickly got cut off by Ms. Ada. "Marcus, bye-bye." Ada got her madness from mom, a tiger mom, always pushing Ada to do lacrosse even though she only wanted to do it when she was little. "Ada Reese… enough with your disrespect!" Her father wasn't much better, I mean with the bossiness. "! It's not a good freakin' time! God dad! Why the hell don't you get it?" Ada started to cry, her mascara running down her tan face. Once she wiped off her eyes, still crying all of us were in the midst of tears. "Who died?" Mr. Lee said jokingly. We all looked up at him not laughing. "Sorry not funny today?" He walked back through the sliding glass doors into the kitchen with his head down. "God he is so stupid!" Ada started crying even louder. "Probably nothing really happened to Stella, right?" My voice was quiet not how it usually was. I looked up at the blue sky, I started to cry.
Our pick of the answers:
I imagine when you're done that you can edit this down by 50% but it's okay--something strange is happening and readers would what to find out what. Much of the dialog seems very realistic.
Donna asks…
Will i see her again hot for teacher ?
Rain falls, gray clouds roll over water droplets trickling down my window pane will I see her again ? here we go again ? clock is sleeping in rosy dreams dogs have run off with the trains down China grove run away can you hear her sigh pretty smile pirate eyes sweet fragrant perfume hyacinth floats through the air as a flame haired queen strolls on by a feast for eyes on some sweet lullaby wearing fishnet stockings and stilettos on song I see her looking through the heat whispered trees I've got it bad, Got it bad, Got it bad, I'm hot for teacher! I"ve got a pencil in my hand walking around this dream something's ain't cooking in my kitchen I need to go to China I need something to relieve me of this contraband beside a railway track I've got it bad, Got it bad, Got it bad, I'm hot for teacher!
Our pick of the answers:
Very nice.
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