Lisa asks…
Controlling boyfriend of 4 years- why do you think he acts like this?
First off, I'm 25 and my boyfriend is 31 - we've been together for almost 4 years. We also live together. About 8 months ago, he forgot to log off his facebook and I saw a message he wrote to a girl (basically it was concrete evidence that he cheated on me and made-out with this girl at a party). Very flirty banter, and I completely freaked out. I thought our relationship was perfect in the first 2 years, then it slowly got worse. I'll admit that a lot of that was my fault... I used to text a lot of guys and he would find these texts while going through my phone when I was asleep. But I NEVER cheated on him. I only texted guy friends, some of them liked me so they sent flirty stuff which my bf read. He took it the wrong way, thought I did something. So he said he cheated to get back at me. The reason I bring up this cheating is because after months & months of us deciding to break up and move on, then giving it another shot, then arguing again where one of us would move out for a week or 2 at a time...we really sat down and decided that we love each other very much and that we both made mistakes that confused the other person. We decided to stay together, be open with our problems, not argue over dumb things, etc. However, after all of this my boyfriend has changed more dramatically, and for the worse. He also lost his job 3 months ago so I'm the only one who works about 40-50 hours a week. He's NEVER been the controlling type but lately he's been stalking my facebook page daily and yelling hysterically anytime he sees I've added a guy (even a friend) without asking for his permission/approval first. He called me once screaming in a rage that he was going to "Beat this guy's a**!!!!!!" for sending me a friend request. He also started a huge argument with me yesterday because my photo's are available to be viewed by the public. He wants all my information to be set to private. He started undermining all of my achievements. He was verbally harrasing me through text messages yesterday out of nowhere saying I am "vain, superficial" and that I never clean around our place. I work so much, he sits at home, but he still expects me to clean all the time. Anything I do anything like wash the dishes, he stands in front of me, watching me, and criticizes every little thing I do. Even when I'm making food or cooking, he watches and criticizes. He drives a car that's pretty old, I bought a brand new car last year and he always tells me "What good is having this car when you're a slob!! It only looks good on the outside, look at this...your car is a bigger mess than mine!!" when all I have in my car are some magazines and hoodies in the backseat and I had shoes on my passenger seat for when I switch from high heels to gym shoes or whatever after work. Some days his attention/affection is overwhelming, he says "I love you always and forever" while the next day he says "I love you, but it's dwindling" - what the heck?! HE IS DRIVING ME CRAZY.....and he has never been like this!!! Trust me, I would NOT put up with THIS for almost 4 years... why do you think he is acting like this now? Even when I ask my friends for advice, they are baffled by his behavior because it's so not like him to act like this. They say it's because he lost his job and he feels like less of a man. What do you guys think?
Our pick of the answers:
Dump this guy for good. He's trouble and he's going to drag you down with him. You need to cut your loses with him and get on with your life. Trust me, I have been where you are and you are going to regret it, if you stay with him. Life is too short for all that drama, who needs all that? He sounds petty and selfish to me. Control freaks are scary and not good relationship material. Hard times and bad luck happen to all of us. There's a saying that when things are tough, it reveals who people really are on the inside, anyone can be sweet and charming when times are good. His true character is not a good person. You are living in the past, things between you will never go back to the way they were. You sound like you have your act together, why stay with a guy who doesn't? You deserve to be with someone who respects you, this guy doesn't respect you at all. Without mutual respect, no relationship can last. Best of luck to you.
Mary asks…
Walking On TipToes (As A Teen). Dangerous Or Not?
I have been walking on my tiptoes for beyond a year and now find it hard to walk on the flat of my foot which is presumably due to habit. To begin with it caused me a lot of pain but I did it anyway (I'm not entirely sure why, I think to make me taller); it hurt all my foot joints causing them to click and cause me a kind of knife-searing pain everytime I moved. Furthermore my toes are now bent at a 50 degree angle from my foot which looks strange besides being rather inconvenient. But I haven't stopped the habit. In fact I (suppose I) have almost encouraged it. I dance around my house especially in my kitchen where the floor is smooth and perfect for pirouetting on the tip of my toes (well the underneath of my toes) which makes my legs quite toned. Anyhoo I also bought a pair of 4+ Inch high heels which I wear for school. They hurt like hell and instead of being able to stand up during linch or break I had to sit down to talk to people, they hurt that much-it was like standing on my tiptoes all over again. Also it is, apparently, very bad for ballerinas who are young (about 10-12/13) to wear pointe shoes as they damage their bones and as this is almost similar I thought I needed to know what damage I was doing to my feet, if doing any at all. However people who are 14/15 can wear them without danger. Then again ballet dancers have knackered bones eventually anyway....went off on a tangent there. Overall I'm worried about this. I'm 15 and started when I was 13 1/2. Any help?
Our pick of the answers:
I doubt you damaged bones but probably your calf muscles shortened, and if you then walk normally you stretch them and they will hurt. At least that's what happens to women who wear high heels a lot. It is not good for your feet long term. See link. I would suggesting to do at least daily stretching exercises to stretch your calf muscles. Make sure you don't point your toes while doing those. There are a couple of yoga exercises which are good for that and also for general toning. I think as ballerinas do a lot of stretching exercises shortened muscles are probably much less a problem than for you. I also would suggest to stop being a masochist. If your shoes hurt your feet, wear different shoes.
Powered by Yahoo! Answers
If you're interested, read more here http://womensshoeszz.com/your-questions-about-where-to-buy-high-heels-without-heel-16/
No comments:
Post a Comment