Susan asks…
Ladies (and/or men) how many pairs of shoes are in the trunk of your car?
Right now I have.....gym shoes, 2 pairs of flats (brown and black...for when I have to go the the ghetto and may need to run for my life), some slippers, some pumps (to go with a back up suit for when I'm asked to go to court at a moments notice) and several flip flops for gym shower rooms, the beach, and pretty much anywhere else. Oh, and yes I have used them all.
Our pick of the answers:
I have one pair of baseball cleats, one pair of worn dirty work boots and one pair of sneakers.( also worn and dirty)
Lizzie asks…
Ladies only! what would you do if you were in my shoes? Men too if they can relate to bein in my bfs shoes?
How do you tell the person you love, that you are not in love with them? I have been with him for 3 years. We live together, and I just turned 18. He is 23. I cannot picture my life without him, but then I cannot picture a happy satisfying future with him either. Part of me wants to stay with him, but the other part is telling me I need to get out. He has cheated before, and I forgave him. I even trust him to the fullest extent. He has proven himself, but now I am finding myself doubting our happiness together. It makes me cry just thinking about leaving him, but I know we do not have a healthy relationship. Deep down I feel if I am commited to moving on, then why cant I commit to fully love him like I have had before. I want him to be happy and he says he is happy with me. We have talked about this before, but he always talks me into staying. Communication is terrible but I have told him how I felt. I want to be happy with him, but for some reason I just cant allow myself to. So that right there tells me I am not fully in love with him like I so blindingly see. I have attached myself to him since I was 15, he is my only friend right now. I do not want to hurt him, but I also feel like I am lying to him when I say I love you. Please advise! I don't know what to do…
Our pick of the answers:
Some people think that the top layer of what they feel and think is all that there is,yet .they feel something's missing in their relationship.Others know how they feel instead of stating their feelings as their own,they blame how they feel on their lover. USUALLY people will respond with answers that are about their lovers. Ask yourself these questions What about that bothers me? How do i feel about it? How do i react to it? What does he or she means to me? Even if u know the answers, see if you can connect to your feelings about it and notice anyother thoughts, feelings, associtions, or memories come to you spontaneously. Sometimes the best STUFF just suddenly occurs to us. Next find an opportunity when you an ur lover can share how you are feeling about the issue. When mentioning something about his/her behaviour that affects you, phrase it with your own experience. (''when i think that you are not listening to mei feel... I then worry that... It remindes me of ... Which...feels... To me'') You might be tempted to leap to a solution, but this is only the beginning if you settle on a solution too quickly you could miss something that still needs to be unearthed. The listener's job is to listen attentively and to verbalize understanding for the other feelings regaardless whether or not the listener agrees with his/her loveer's perpception of the events. By each of you truly understanding the other person's perspective without judgement,you'll be able to move through this barrier in your RELATIONSHIP.
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