Do y'all hope your kid(s) turn out like you?
I mean, if your kid climbs into your lap and says I want to grow up and be just like you.... you can take it at face value, smile and say awww, thank you...yet we know in our hearts our weaknesses and foibles that they can't see, and think immediately of the bad thingsa, at least I did today. One day, I might agree and think yes, this came on the heels of that right thing I did and he saw it, and understands lets say sharing, or forgiveness, or my cool temper with the grumpy neighbor...on another day, I might come out and say to him indirectly, you do not want this quality, you do not want to do what I do, do what I say....there are days I don't want my kid to be like me. Ever think that way? Okay, you want an example....Um, my son (12) said he wanted to be like me once a long time ago (8ish?). He likes the fact I built him a 5 story treehouse out of scrap wood, with a fireman pole you have to slide down to get out from. I am building a sauna from good pre-owned wood (from the dump), and other recovered scraps (bricks of shingles, etc) for the family, because we are Finnish, and I would like one and I think they will like one. I built the kids a 60 foot tall swing between two 90 foot tall white pines in our rather large yard, and the kids love it (The neightbors think I am nuts and so does a neighboring insurance man who told me my homeowners might cancel me if they ever knew.....whatever...) I am lower middle class, and I grew up higher middle class. Soooo, I would say financially, I/we have not done as well as where we came from, even though we both work full-time. Okay, here it is...I DON'T WANT MY BOY TO DO THE THINGS I DO !!! I WANT HIM TO DO/HAVE BETTER.Build with new wood. Have the olympic gym/swingset/store bought fort thing. I am not a carpenter, but I manage to create somewhat wfe things no one has died on yet.... I give my kids good things I think they will enjoy, since I cannot give them the things they want (horses, RV trips, a cabin, etc). Yet I still can't fully accept the "high honor" from my son that he wants to be like me when he grows up. I don't want him to turn out like me, scrimping, scrounging, make do with leftovers, taking "scraps from the master's table" as it were. These are okay, but I find it hard to look him in the eye and tell him straight faced.."Everybody collects golf balls on the course cuz they are soooo darned expensive." This is something I do that gives us exercise and free balls (some really nice Nike balls too), but I don't want him to do this later in life. Please, Lord don't let him folllow my example on this one. I'll utter in prayer.... I ALWAYS hope that my (soon to be four) kids will do better than we do/did, and will aim high, even higher, so they might just experience things better. Just better. My life hasn't been bad, I just know there are things I want him to steer clear of and pursue instead. What do you think? Can you accept a child's I want to be like you compliment without reservations? And should we?
