Sharon asks…
Husband didn't tell me that the "other" woman was right there?
Ok, so I've been cheated on...forgiving (I guess) and I am trying to move on with my life. I recently found out that a woman that slept with my husband was following my husband and I throughout Macy's. This was around Christmas time. The mall was jammed and I remember someone looking at me but I just stared back as if to say what the hell are you looking at? Nothing more. Well, my husband tells his mom who IS friends with this person, yes, my wonderful MIL is friends with my husband's ex-lover. He tells her that Mayra was 5 ft away from me in the shoe section. I am so mad that he did not tell me. Would I have punched her lights out?...yes, she told me really nasty things when I was pregnant and so in a nutshell she is a pig, and NO I am not holding her fully responsible for the affair even though she knew about me (she was our realtor). So, I asked my husband why he didn't tell me, now they are not together, yes, I am sure, as I know that she is moving to CA, I know her boss.. He gets mad that I saw it on one of his emails...the emails were opened...who cares, he has my pass codes and reads my emails, I've nothing to hide. So, he starts saying things like this is it, I can't take it...blah. Ok, even though I have to work until 7am..I told him go on and go. He started to retract...he started saying I just don't want it to be like this, and I said, no, you said you were going to leave, now go. I can't stand what he has done to me. I HATE his mother...I'm not too upset about the thought of him going. Is it possible that I want it to be over? I've been lied to and he says "who cares who my mother is friends with", I said, who cares is right, but I have the right to disown her and not have a realtionship with her. I think that it is very fair to do that. I do not know how I will raise my children alone but I'll do it!!!. I will not depend on my family to help me as they have their own lives, kwim? We've been married for 14yrs...and TRUTH be told, I've been a good wife and a GREAT person. I am so mad at myself right now. Thanks for the MATURE advice. :)
Our pick of the answers:
Don't throw in the towel just yet. I believe your husband not telling you about the whore following you through the store like a psycho was an attempt to protect your feelings. It's christmas, everyone is happy why spoil the mood? Very common male thought. Your MIL on the other hand is an evil, destructive woman. Remember the part in your vows that said " let no man put asunder"? This is what they meant. Your MIL is detrimental to your marriage. Befriending the mistress? I would keep my distance from her or cut all ties. Marriage is very hard today. We face many challenges that married couples in the past didn't have. Sometimes cheating is a symptom not a cause of problems. It is possible to work through the hurtfull feelings and come out stronger and better than ever. I wish you the best of luck and healing.
Jenny asks…
????????Was this hypocritical of my friend to say?
*******PLEASE READ, I KNOW IT IS A LOT BUT PLEASE DONT PASS I NEED YOUR HELP******* Today, my best friend and two of my other friends were helping out in the office today by throwing stuff out and organizing things. The secretary, whom I don't really like but I guess she likes me, was directing me and my friend named Macy to go throw away a bunch of stuff outside. I picked up the box and on my way out I leaned over and told my friend Vicki and my "best" friend Trina about the cold sore on the secretary's lips. They looked at me and were comment less.(Guessing they like her because they're total kiss ups) I gave them a "helllo?" look and they just went back to work. I walked out the door, then heard Vikie start whispering in Trina's ear. I stopped and turned around and said, "What?" Viki jerked back in er position and just stared blankly at me, then Trina spoke up with some sort of smirk on her face and said, "You've got nothing better to do than talk about people." I was VERY VERY insulted by this, considering she is ALWAYS the one gossiping, calling me to tell me about what happened today and gossiping, and ALWAYS the one trying to break apart Vikie and Macy's friendship! I was flabbergasted, my jaw was open and my eyes were narrowed, I then said, "Wow, look who's talking." and then she shot back, "You are!" I then rolled my eyes and snapped at her and said, "Hypocrite!" I walked out the door outside and Macy started asking me what happened while meanwhile there was a fury of whispers behind my back. I told her about the conspiracy plot Trina was plotting against Macy and Vikie. She said she wasn't surprised. Me and Trina have been friends for 2-3 years. What really got me was that just yesterday I told her that if someone was talking about her I would go and tell her. She said she would do the same, and then this comes up. I know she is always talking about me behind my back, she claims when people do this she chooses to "defend me." I highly doubt it, though. I really feel betrayed especially when people talk about me to her, and I secretly know it, but she doesn't tell me anything. She is always pointing out my flaws, I know I like to gossip occasionally, but it isn't as harsh at hers. Her's is like, " God, she is SUCH a fat ***." while mine is more like, "I really don't like it when she rolls her eyes, it's do disrespectful." If you can see the difference. Lately this week she is being very argumentative and bitchy and its been getting on my nerves, especially when she embarrasses me on purpose in front of the class, makes fun of my shoes, and pratically demeans me all the time. I put up with this day to day and just put it off like, "La de dah, ha ha ha ha ha, so funny." But its getting more harsh and more insulting by the day and I think that if this goes on we will have very big issues! and I don't know what to do. Thanks so much for reading, I know this is a lot but your answer will be VERy appreciated. I know it wasn't nice, but the secretary makes fun of me too, if she hadn't made fun of me the other day I wouldn't have said that. Yeah yeah I know i'm not being the "bigger person" but I'm not looking for criticism because I know I can b a hypocrite, I'm looking for advice on what I should do with my friend? Should i let is slide or should I get all bent out of shape and cuss her out or something? Everybody gossips a little bit time to time, you can't deny it. @Nafri I changed the names so technically I'm not talking about them. :) And I'm asking for help, people, not criticism, i know I have issues, everyone does, please don't judge me based on a bad move I made. I could have said i never gossip and etc etc, but I was fair in telling this story, please don't slam me for it. thanks so much guys for the reality check. Now that i think of it, I am morphing into a bitch myself. I will now start trying a lot harder to reevaluate myself as a person, and try to be the girl I want to be, not the chick who demeans others so she can be on top. Thanks so much for the criticism, usually I would start emailing you guys and start bitching at you, but you're all right. Except for the select few. Go fuk yourself Jay
Our pick of the answers:
She's a toxic "friend", best to stay away and out of her way. I was in your position not long ago until i decided to drift away slowly from her... Nicely of course. Toxic people aren't comfortable with sudden movement, and when it happens, they go for the jugular. Haha.
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