Mary asks…
SURVEY: Ladies...need some GIRLIE WISDOM? (joke)?
I thought these would be perfect for a FRIDAY! Hope you enjoy them! STAR AND PASS THEM ALONG TO A CLOSE GIRL FRIEND SO SHE CAN LAUGH WITH US. Sandy :O) Women over 50 don't have babies because they would put them down and forget where they left them. A friend of mine confused her Valium with her birth control pills... she has 14 kids but doesn't really care. One of life's mysteries is how a 2-pound box of chocolates can make a woman gain 5 lbs. My mind not only wanders, it sometimes leaves completely. The best way to forget your troubles is to wear tight shoes . The nice part about living in a small town is that when you don't know what you are doing, someone else does. The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight because by then, your body and your fat are really good friends. Just when I was getting used to yesterday, along came today. Sometimes I think I understand everything, and then I regain consciousness. I gave up jogging for my health when my thighs kept rubbing together and setting fire to my knicker's. Amazing! You hang something in your closet for a while and it shrinks 2 sizes! Skinny people irritate me! Especially when they say things like... 'You know sometimes I forget to eat!' ......Now I've forgotten my address, my mother's maiden name and my keys, but I have nev er forgotten to eat. You have to be a special kind of stupid to forget to eat! The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing and then they marry him. I read this article that said the typical symptoms of stress are eating too much, impulse buying, and driving too fast. Are they kidding? That's my idea of a perfect day!
Our pick of the answers:
I liked the one about women get excited about nothing then they marry them. Lol that was funny
Helen asks…
SOME LITTLE ONE LINERS FOR YOU ALL?
Women over 50 don't have babies because they would put them down and forget where they left them. A friend of mine confused her Valium with her birth control pills... she has 14 kids but doesn't really care. One of life's mysteries is how a 2-pound box of chocolates can make a woman gain 5 lbs. My mind not only wanders, it sometimes leaves completely. The best way to forget your troubles is to wear tight shoes. The nice part about living in a small town is that when you don't know what you are doing, someone else does. The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight because by then, your body and your fat are really good friends. Just when I was getting used to yesterday, along came today. Sometimes I think I understand everything, and then I regain consciousness. I gave up jogging for my health when my thighs kept rubbing together and setting fire to my knicker's. Amazing! You hang something in your closet for a while and it shrin ks 2 sizes! Skinny people irritate me! Especially when they say things like...'You know sometimes I forget to eat!' ......Now I've forgotten my address, my mother's maiden name and my keys, but I have never forgotten to eat. You have to be a special kind of stupid to forget to eat! The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing and then they marry him. I read this article that said the typical symptoms of stress are eating too much, impulse buying, and driving too fast. Are they kidding? That's my idea of a perfect day!
Our pick of the answers:
Great ones! Here are some for you: I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me. Police were called to a daycare where a three-year-old was resisting a rest. Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now. The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. To write with a broken pencil is pointless. When fish are in schools they sometimes take debate. A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months. A thief fell and broke his leg in wet cement. He became a hardened criminal. Thieves who steal corn from a garden could be charged with stalking. We'll never run out of math teachers because they always multiply. When the smog lifts in Los Angeles, U C L A. The math professor went crazy with the blackboard. He did a number on it. The professor discovered that her theory of earthquakes was on shaky ground. The dead batteries were given out free of charge. If you take a laptop computer for a run you could jog your memory. A dentist and a manicurist fought tooth and nail. A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two tired. The optometrist fell into his lens grinder and made a spectacle of himself. Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like an orange.
Powered by Yahoo! Answers
No comments:
Post a Comment