Jenny asks…
Platforms? Heels? ? A gay dude wearing girl shoes ?
Okay so here's the story: Im a gay guy, 16 and I look A LOT like a female, except I have balls and an adam's apple LOL. Not to sound conceited but I'm pretty and people sometimes think I'm a girl with short hair or they tell I should model. Whatever, I'm not vain or anything just saying. I'm 5"11 and weight about 120 Ibs. Google Gregory Gorgeous in images. I look kinda like him but with fuller lips and darker blue eyes. My hair is like dirty blond and I'm white. So my friend she got me as a gift today a pair of these: http://images.saksfifthavenue.com/images/products/04/686/1741/0468617413703/0468617413703R_300x400.jpg But much cuter! They have little bows on them :D I could literally DIE for heels and for makeup and for fashion. Anywho this sunday we are going to hang out in Manhattan. Im from NYC btw. And this is my first pair of heels which I own secretly from my parents and I kinda thought I could wear them on Sunday? We will go to Chelsea which is a major gay mecca. Should I do this? Is there any dangers? What would you do if you were me? Do you think I'm betraying my parents for doing this without letting them know ? My parents wouldn't take it well at all if I told them but still heels make me feel happy and complete and GORGEOUS. but this inner self of me tells me to just forget it. I'm so depressed about it. Please give me suggestions?
Our pick of the answers:
I don't see any danger other then falling or breaking your ankle. Just practice walking around in them and you'll be fine though! Don't you worry about your parents! If it makes you feel good then do it! They may not understand now, but they will. Just give them some time to take in the whole idea of their son wearing heels. Don't worry so much over shoes. What they don't know won't kill 'em! I think you'll look great in those glamorous shoes. You'll probably rock them a lot more than most girls! Good luck. I hope you have a lot of fun!!!!!!!!! :D
Mandy asks…
I'm head over heels but heels over head at the same time? Help!!?
I've been with this wonderful boy for nearly a year now. I'm madly in love with him just as he is with me. We've both feel like we have this everlasting bond that will never break even till death do us part. We also a clear image of a future for us together. Seems perfect right? Well part's of it not so.. We get a long so well. We really do, but I just don't understand why we argue. Arguing is inevitable, but it happens nearly every single week. It's so frustrating I don't understand why. It happens to much. We often have constructive talks about how we can change that, but change is temporary. It goes back to the same routine. He doesn't love me any less and I don't either. But is this relationship falling apart without us seeing it? Sometimes I feel like my world is upside down. Please I'm sorry this is long, but I need help.
Our pick of the answers:
You're right that an argument is an expression of frustration about -something-. But not necessarily about each other. It's possible that you aren't frustrated at him and that he isn't frustrated with you at all! It may just be irritations in his life, or in yours. You know that even men and women who are madly in love have arguments on a regular basis. Sometimes I think that what it really means is that both people are -healthy- and have -strong- opinions about how the world should be and are ready to make a strong case for their position. All those things are good. You also know that when people argue, 99% of the time the arguments are about things that are completely silly. "I put the peanut butter in the refrigerator and you took it out." "It is ridiculous to put peanut butter in the fridge." "What is the harm in . . . " and so on. Or even sillier! Grown men and women have the ability to argue about complete nonsense. It is bizarre. You also know that the hidden issues are very real sometimes. People may not even realize it, but the real issue may be: "Does she really respect me?" "Does he take me seriously?" "Is she lying to me?" "Is he doing that in order to hurt my feelings?" "Does she really love me?" "Does he really need me?" "Does she really want me for me?" "Am I still sexy?" Questions that are so serious that it almost scares you to say some some of them out loud. You can go to a marriage counselor and talk about these hidden underlying questions or you can stare into each other's eyes and have deep conversations. But it may not even be necessary. We all know that we feel basically okay about ourselves, and yet we have these little anxieties anyway. It's nothing new. Not really a problem that has to be solved. So, I think your first question is really: Is this bad? Should we be worried about this? And I think the answer is absolutely no. Not bad. Nothing to worry about. Perfectly normal. And yet, you still have the right to try to work together to find ways to make the arguments less painful. Sometimes I laugh and say that True Love . . . Is a relationship in which the two people are able to find ways to make all of their arguments less painful and more productive (in terms of giving each person a chance to blow off steam and shake off the irritations of living on the planet earth) and more loving. Or at least, if the argument itself doesn't seem all that loving, at least the reconciliation afterwards can be. Now, of course, you still have to evaluate your man honestly. Does he love you. Is he a good man. All that. But arguments alone don't rule somebody out. Unless he is violent or cruel or mean-spirited or so controlling that you feel you are losing part of yourself, or losing your freedom. But it doesn't sound as though it's anything like that. I think if he loves you, he shouldn't hurt you. He should lift you up and support you and give you a standing ovation when you have successes and achievements. I hope your relationship is wonderful and you have a wonderful life together. Stick up for yourself. If he hurts your feelings, make him shape up.
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